know your role and shut your mouth*

*credits given to "The Rock", WWF wrestler of my brother's childhood admiration

While laying out today I remembered this little tidbit of knowledge that I acquired in the sixth grade, and wanted to share it.

This had been proving his love for me in the typical sixth grade way: singling me out in an end-of-school mud fight, pushing me, shoving me, teasing me. I thought he was cute. We "went out". This consisted of talking on the phone and carrying his school picture in my wallet. So eventually, as tends to happen to relationships of that kind, things went sour after a few weeks. I suspected that some of my popular "friends" had told him something nasty about me out of jealousy. I can tell you from experience, it's lonely at the top. So I was really annoyed, and during our argument on AOL instant messenger, I said something along the lines of, "don't worry about it, I think I just liked the attention anyway". In my mind, this wasn't SUCH a terrible thing to say. It was honest, and I was kind of proud of myself for being smart enough to figure that out. It was like I was getting over the relationship and making a personal discovery, all rolled into one. His reaction? Not so warm. To him, this made me a selfish, cold-hearted b**** because it was as though I had said I never liked him in the first place, and let's face it, he was pretty much right.

Moral of the story: girls think they need to say everything. They think that the answer to all problems is to TALK about it.


That needed it's own paragraph because it is so, so, so wrong. Both in romantic and platonic relationships, we often make the mistake of thinking that once we talk things out, confront the person, or just get things off our chests, everything will fall into place. In reality, some-- if not most-- of the time, it just leaves people feeling hurt and resentful. Also, it's not always a good thing to be smart. By that I mean that smart people tend to think things to death. It really doesn't matter WHY he broke up with you; he did it for a reason, and it's not up to you to figure him out. If he wants to come back, he will of his own accord, not because you figured it out and plotted the perfect move to get him back.

So just keep your mouth shut and think about other things. :)


Anonymous said...

I am 40 years old. I am pretty sure you are almost half my age. You have taught me something. You are so right.

I am liking all your blogs.


do you think you have it? said...

Thanks, anonymous! I'm happy to be able to share this kind of stuff. I won't comment on the age thing except to say that I've got a few years under my belt ;)

Soon-To-Be Ex said...

saw your comments on my blog. if you would rather email than go back and forth on each other's pages (although it is nice to have all the comments, thank you very much), my email is on my blogger profile.

Soon-To-Be Ex said...

By the way, nice posting.