I'm back! And I have some good news, and some good news.
1. I am writing a book. YAY
2. Now, it is all about TOM. Remember him from last summer? I do. Sexiest man alive? Probably not. Does that make a difference? Not in the slightest.

I'm working at the same place but doing some different things so the context in which I see people is much much different. Now I am working mostly with defendants so the attorneys that I see are not as plentiful, but that's okay since I still see the most important one ;).

This is a tad random but I'm a little torn since I started writing in a "real" journal and I do still want to keep that up, but this is too much fun, and when I went back to read the past stuff for material for my book, I had to share the new lovely updates on my life. So, I suppose I'll have to think on that a little.

I've seen Tom quite a bit since I've been back for the summer, but only one real conversation. But that conversation was quite telling since one of the first things he said (after asking me how my school was-- he remembered where I went!) was, "You've been thinking about me all the time?" and naturally since I have no control over what comes out of my mouth when I am around him, I just grinned and said, "Yep." Honestly, my voice is its own entity. I just tag along behind it and hope I can patch up the damage. We went on to have probably the longest conversation that we've ever had (read: less than five minutes) and in that conversation, he brought up how he was, loosely quoting here, "working a lot, gotta make the money" or something. I realized that he's brought up money at least twice, and that isn't really normal. Maybe he's trying to impress me with his important lawyer-ness? I don't know. I should probably find it tacky, but let's be serious, I really just want him and a little bit of tacky isn't going to get in the way.

Another time, Tom made a genuine effort to talk to me-- something he hasn't really done before since we always just crossed paths coincidentally-- but it was sort of perfect because I was busy helping defendants and by the time I was free, someone came to relieve me for break. Let's call it "accidental hard-to-get." So great.

Also: cute, young (my age!! this never happens!) guy came in and was joke-complaining about the money he had to pay. He said, I could be taking you out on a date with that." I am hot. Well, getting there. Too bad I came home and snacked through dinner. It wasn't really a binge-- I think I am just tired of bingeing to be honest. It's almost like I no longer have the will to committ to my eating disorder anymore. Which sounds so messed-up, I suppose because it is? In any case, peanut m&ms, two granola bars, chocolate-covered graham crackers and a pital with jelly is not such a fantastic dinner. At least now I'm done, I guess. I really need to not be so lazy and just cook. We'll see how that works out.

Have missed you all! Hopefully everyone hasn't written me off for not writing in about nine years!

Have also decided that this summer, things are happening. I am too tired of NOTHING coming of ANY of my semi-relationships. Shit is going down. Buckle your seatbelts.


Anonymous said...

Tom is the married guy with children, right?

If so, stay away from him. It is totally bad karma to get involved with some guy's midlife crisis. It can cause pain for his wife and children. Is that really what you want?

I've seen so many marriages end and children's lives shattered because some guy in his forties wanted to make sure he could still get a young babe to want him.

And I've seen a lot of those babes surprised when they are then dumped for someone else. Maybe not immediately. Sometimes it takes a decade or more. But it happens.

You don't love this man. Buy a vibrator to satisfy your needs and then look for someone who is your age and unmarried.

TexAss said...

Interesting. I've recently started writing in a "real" journal as well. It goes with me everywhere and I must say it's been an enjoyable experience. Plus I look all cool and smart because my journal is one of those black, hardback ones with the ribbon thingy to keep my place.

do you think you have it? said...

Anon-- well, he's not in his 40's... but I know. I know I know I know. I won't try to defend myself because on principle I don't deserve a defense, but knowledge of poor outcomes doesn't always change the decisions you make.

Ass-- Itn't it hard to separate the journal and the blog? I've totally been neglecting my real journal and I feel pretty guilty about it.