let's play catch-up

I suppose it was pretty ridiculous of me to post that long ass entry and not give any real explanation as to my life these past few months. I wish there were more to tell, however, but I said a lot of it even in my inebriated state.

As for Mark, it ultimately came down to a difference in beliefs. He was VERY strongly into his religion, and for him it was actually even more than a religion; it was a whole culture. While we were definitely able to connect on an intellectual and even emotional level, his upbringing led him to feel guilty for even thinking about sleeping with me, which made the relaonship hard for both of us since there was such a physical attraction. And even though he said he didn't judge me for the decisions I made (drinking, swearing once in a while, etc), it created a tension between us that may have only been in my head but I just had this underlying feeling that somehow he thought I wasn't good enough for him... well, no... but that's the only way I know of saying it. So all in all, we sat down and had a mature discussion that I knew was coming, and claimed to want to both stay friends which I knew wouldn't be likely, and I've talked to him twice since we ended things a little less than a month ago.

That being said, I don't regret being with him; I still think he is a fantastic human being, but I am sure that he will find a girl that shares his beliefs and make her very happy someday. And by someday I mean soon, since he is definitely on that track. IF you know what I mean.

Since then, I've started talking to an ex (not really an ex because we never REALLY dated, but whatever) of mine that I hadn't kept in touch with over the last few years... he is only six years my senior, and that's more okay now that we're both a little older. We were hanging out when I was just a little young for it to be considered OK. His name is Brian. He's not near me at school, but we've been talking on the phone a lot since he randomly sent me this pretty intense text along the lines of, "I know this is random and you might not want to even talk to me but I'm scared that you might be the best thing to happen to me." I'm a little scared that maybe I shouldn't have responded because he seems to be falling for me all over again, and I'm not ready to be serious with anyone right now. Yikes.

Oh I should also say that the stuff about Tom was true; actually everything I wrote was true, including my attraction for Tom... I don't know if I said this, but it's definitely still there. Or it was when I saw him last month.

Whoops, gotta go eat! Have a great week, everyone =)

1 comment:

Sass said...

Wow. You DO still exist. ;)

Glad to see you're alive and well...and obviously you still "have it."