why I am a guy... that or an asshole's dream come true

Because posting is so much more fun than studying :)

First of all, I postponed my date with Mark until Wednesday, since I ended up having to lock myself in my room to study for pretty much the entire weekend. I basically had my own little private freak-out session; it was thrilling.

But all this studying, for some reason, only makes me think more about the things that need analyzing in my life. Like, for example, why I am always attracted to older, often times married, men. I sort of decided that it's because at this point in my life, I'm not ready to settle down yet (i.e. get married), and so I don't really see the point in anything serious or faux-serious because what's the point. And I think I've bitched enough to demonstrate that my life is ridiculously busy; I honestly feel like I don't have time for a relationship. Ergo, my attraction to men that are pretty much guaranteed to not want anything more than a fling/ physical connection from me. Basically, I'm a guy. I want the physical aspect without being tied down or being held accountable to anyone. At least at this point in my life. I want the sparks without the ball and chain, so to speak. But no, I do not sleep around. Yes I can have my cake and eat it, too.