my life is a joke

Or a soap opera. Saw J today, several times. I could tell he was trying to keep it under wraps around the GF and because of all of the drama surrounding him and I, but he did say hi the one time he came close enough to say hi, and every other time I saw him, he checked me out up and down. I think he doesn't even realize how obvious he is with the up-and-downing. Like he thinks that if only his eyes move, no one will notice.

Also, another much older flirtation (I've forgotten if I've given him a title-- I confuse myself with all my lettered men)--Ray-- asked me how old I was in a manner that suggested that he knew he was too old for me, but just had to know for sure. It's interesting to note which types of men go how far in their flirtations with a younger, attractive (I told you, modesty is overrated) woman. I think it's really a confidence thing with the men. Hell, with ALL of us. But with men, it seems like it takes a lot of confidence to be able to hit on a woman that they think is out of their league, and if the woman is attractive, being younger only makes her more out of their league. Hopefully that made sense.

A realization I had can be best summarized by a warning.
DANGER! BEWARE THESE WORDS:
"whatever"/ "whatever you want"
"I don't care!"
The only explanation I'm going to give for why these phrases are dangerous is that I used them both several times when I went out with J last Thursday.