ugh

I really need to stop obsessing. He's fucking married. Married. I've noticed that he really doesn't try to hide the ring either. Maybe he even makes it obvious on purpose. But I don't know what the motivation would be there because the flirting is more from him than me so its not like he's somehow trying to tell me to back off.

UGHHH I am also way too upset about him leaving for a while (how long??? It would have taken too much intelligence to ask that) next week. And about his not making a move or some semblance of one.

I am way out of my comfort zone. I wouldn't even know what to do if he WEREN'T married. Wtf do I do now that I know he is? I really just want to kiss him.... Ok well... I wouldn't have sex with him. Absolutely not. Fuck! This sucks but its so great at the same time. Why is he so sexy?? (And old... And married... Fuck!)

Fuck my life. I need a new one.